I have been having a very difficult time the past few months. I changed jobs, my social life has been set aside and I don’t have the energy to do the activities that I love. I have been craving for a break this whole year and then something happened. A person that I cannot imagine not being in my life in one way or another, has disappointed me. I won’t get into any details, but let’s just say that it was enough for me to feel very very shitty!!!
It’s been 2 weeks since I realised that I’m at a burnout point and if I don’t act soon, I’m going to start having panic attacks soon. So –naturally– I did the one thing that makes me smile (apart from my brother ❤ ). I booked a flight!
So on the 30th of November I’m flying to Zurich and I am counting down the days like a child!!! (Maybe I should create one of those countdown calendars)
Since I booked the flight, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. It feels sooo good to focus on something unknown. I have 2 months to learn/re-learn basic german and just dream. I’m not booking anything, apart from maybe a full weekly transportation pass, because everything is so expensive there, so not knowing the itinerary is exciting! I live on an island in the Mediterranean, so November/December in Cyprus is basically summer for the Swiss. I love this weather contrast and I’m not going to see any pictures online on purpose, because I want everything to be brand new information for my eyes and brain! I will read some history though (because I’m a nerd like that)!
I have an old friend in a nearby town and I’m going to be staying with him, so transportation and accommodation, check!!! Everything else will be serendipitous!
Oh, I forgot to mention. My work doesn’t know yet! I actually booked the flight without asking for permission for the simple reason that a. I am entitled to the days requested and b. I am prepared to quit if I am not granted the permission. It’s decided that I’m going and there is literally NOTHING that can stop me. I’m letting them know this week.
I do have another two week trip lined up to Peru for April 2019, but I can’t wait that long to travel, I just can’t. I feel like my time of being bound to one place is up. I have never felt like home here. Predictability stresses me out! I need to constantly grow as a person and this island is not allowing me to do this. I believe that this would have happend no matter where I was born though.
Maybe I’m not the type of person to hop on a plane every week or so and I prefer moving every 6 months. I don’t know. All I know is that it needs to happen. I’m not sure about many things in my life, but this is the one thing I’m sure of. This is something that I have been preparing for since last year, but the more I plan, the more I want it to happen sooner than what I’m planning for!
So the moral of this is: a. know your mental limits and b. don’t reach them, because no job or situation is worth going through the mental recovery of a breakdown. Reward yourself for being strong this whole time. Recognise your struggle and dare to be impressed by your own courage. Choose yourself over money and people that don’t have your well-being in their best interest.
And never forget to Go Explore your limits, physically and/or mentally! 💪