Let’s dive into the point…
Consider the following:
Do you have an outstanding long friendship? Do you have more than one?
If yes, how old is your friendship/s? And what do you think has made your friendship/s last?
If no, why do you think that is? Have you not found “your” person? And what would make a good long term friend to you? Did you have one at some point of your life? Why has it been broken off?
I’m intrigued by this ceremonial part of our life!
The universally agreed on components of friendship are mutual understanding, trust, compassion, love, affection, honesty, loyalty, kindness, empathy and I’m sure many other virtues.
Now think of your friends and how many of the above do each of your friendships possess. And then notice which characteristics pop up the most all through time. Which ones does your ongoing relationship rely on to keep alive. Is it meeting up and talking about your day/week? Is it having a mutual hobby? Is it partying? Is it plain loyalty?
If you think that I have the correct answer, I don’t. I’m just exploring my thoughts “out loud”.
I have noticed that a long friendship consists of very loyal people, that accept each other and help one another travel through life however much they can. But, I have also noticed that there are several levels of co-dependency which brings me to the question: Do you know how co-dependent is your relationship?
My blog’s very name gives up what is the most important factor to me, exploration. If a relationship does not allow me to grow, then it is holding me back. But what is the limit? I believe that there should be enough tinder from the shared activities that would make you want/be a better version of yourself. And at the same time, the person should be able to ground you without hurting you. Having this person in your life should add to your happiness and should never feel like a burden. Your time together should be a safe space to be yourself.
Relationships are journeys and it’s nice to romanticise and all! Buts what people do not understand is what that means in practical terms.
It goes: Thought -> Journey -> Destination.
People deal with relationships like they are destinations, seeking humans to anchor themselves on. But relationships are journeys, they are a variable in our lives, they require continuous work and attention. Please take notice of the quality of your interactions. Locate the friendships that are not making you grow and the friendships themselves that haven’t grown over the years. Are you just emotionally attached to the person or do you actually enjoy spending time with them?